“Let’s stop waiting for a better world, Let’s start working on it together”
(The Oxford Dictionary) Define Empathy- The ability to understand and share the feeling of another.
I would describe Empathy as ‘Seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another. It is more of giving/feeling sympathetic for someone. Being empathetic is trying to imagine the scene from the other person’s point of view.
Also, to empathize with another person is putting yourself in the person’s shoes to feel his/her emotions or feeling that they are experiencing. People tend to feel less lonely when they know you understand their perspective. There is 3 type of empathy; emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. You can experience all the 3 types at one time.
The key to becoming a better human in this world is to become an empathetic person. I know it is easier said than done. But you could start small, for instance, become a better listener.
There is 4 type of skills, I have learned and practicing to be more empathetic.
Empathetic Awareness skill
Empathetic Listening skill
Empathetic Speaking skill
Empathetic Dialogue
Take a more in-depth look, by reading the book I came across, Essential Keys to Effective Communication in Love, Life, Work–Anywhere!: – Bento C. Leal III.
I wish to be more empathetic as I am concerned for the well-being and happiness of others. However, it comes with pros and cons. Being Hyper Empathy can burn you out, can also get you overwhelmed, or even stimulate you from always thinking about other people’s emotions.
TIP Empathetic awareness will teach you to empathize with your own self (Self-reflection).
The word Friendship – what does it mean to you? I am pretty sure we all have a different definition for it.
Now think of the word REAL FRIENDS.
Growing up as a social person, I have had friends that left my path and friends who have been part of my journey for over 20 years which I truly cherish. Friends are blessing to me and I consider them as a family. I would go out of my way to do everything and anything that is possible to be there for my friends.
Definition of real friendship to me, is friends who understand you as a person and truly respect you. They are also the people that you can rely on regardless of the circumstances. You cannot call someone your friend if you once met at them at a party, or someone you go gym with. I’m sure they are not the people you could turn to in time of need.
I personally have started being selective who I hang out with and have lost long term friendships, as I believe that my life is a reflection of the energy I put and allow around me. You become who you hang out with, make sure you have something in common with the friends that surround you. Hang out with loving, kind, compassionate, passionate and giving people. ‘Keep your circle small’ – Took me 28 years to recognise the depth of the wise man quote.
Every person teaches you a valuable lesson in life. It is important to have meaning friendships over superficial ones. Real friends will always be supportive, respect your privacy, celebrate your success and not be jealous of you. Surround yourself with the right people. Do not let your friends to treat you like sh**, just because you do not wish to lose them. Remember anybody you lose was not supposed to be around, this could be years-long friendship.
TIP- Simplify your circle of friends- Keep those who add value to your life and remove those who don’t.
‘Share your smile with the world, it’s a symbol of friendship and peace ‘ – Christie Brinkley
‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking made it so’
In my previous Blog on GAD, I mentioned there is no over night fix, but I can assure you that there are many techniques I will speak in this blog that will help to be anxiety free. Lets work together on getting our life’s on track
Anxiety and depression are on rise, as we are overwhelmed by the modern life demands from us. The pressure on us are financial worries, job instability, relationship troubles, fear about personal safety, The result is the same; we feel tied up don’t we? We got to focus on how to stop worrying.
I’ve listed below what worriers think and do
‘You have to be in control’
‘If worry pops on your head then you have to do something about it’
‘You need the answer right now’
‘You need to avoid emotional discomfort’
‘You cant live in the present moment’
‘You need to avoid doing things that make you anxious’
When worrying becomes excessive, it can lead to feelings of high anxiety and even cause to be physically ill. There are many options you have that can re-establish harmony of mind body and spirit.
Below listed are my personal choices
Learn to relax– Relaxation techniques can offer a real potential to reduce anxiety and worries. Try the deep abdominal breathing, meditation, listening to calming music . Also yoga and tai chi will benefit you.
Meditate– Something we all should start practicing is daily meditation first thing in the morning. With meditation you are paying attention purposefully to what’s happening in the present moment.
Be conscious of your worries – Spend few mins every day where you focus on your worries however as time is up let them worries go.
Eat healthy– Easily tempted to eat unhealthy food, or eat too much or too little food. Keep your health in mind also drink caffeine in moderate.
Exercise – Force yourself to go work out daily. Aerobic and strengthening exercise is very effective way to train your body to deal with stress.
Build your motivation – Make a ‘to do list’ and work on it, engage yourself, this should distract you from your worries.
Boost your self-esteem- Be positive and nice to yourself. Treat and value yourself
Enjoy yourself- It is good for your emotional well-being, Simple activities like watching sports with friends, meeting up with friends for coffee can improve your day. You can also cook or may be dance if you don’t want to be around others? Try to avoid things that seem enjoyable at the time but make you feel worse afterwards, such as drinking too much alcohol or eating junk food.
Talk and share– Communication is important, whether it’s with a friend, family member or counsellor. Talking things through helps you to release tension, and not keeping it inside. It helps strengthen your relationships and connect with people.
Prayers( My favourite one)- Spirituality and prayer relieve stress. Every time a friend says to me I feel stressed and worried; I always recommend to say a small prayer at that time as it helps me to stop thinking negative.
Also when you do have negative thoughts challenge your thinking and let go of the urgency you have at that time. I would also stress on observing your thoughts as worrying is much of a habit . If we are mindful of our thoughts , if we see them simply as events in the present, then those thoughts no longer have the same power.
Are you someone continuously worrying about a lot of things, also thoughts that you have are imagining all possible negative things that you think might take place? Oh and you already worked out in your mind how to prevent them? Trust me you are not the only one experiencing this.
Everyone experiences worry, fear and anxiety differently and it is important that you reflect on and understand what they mean to you. I am here just to pass on the information on anxiety which I have gathered reading books on anxiety that could help you with your daily life.
Before I write about Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) lets list below the focused 6 disorders
Specific Phobia
Panic Disorder
Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
The help and information are out there, Go see your doctor, get yourself books on anxiety, Self guide books,programmes online etc that will help you. Once you recognise and aware of the anxiety type you suffer do your research. Avoid taking anxiety/depression medication (anti-depressant ) If possible. There is no over night fix but there are many techniques to help you.
What is Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
GAD is the label used to describe persistent, pervasive feelings of anxiety which give rise to what seems like constant bodily and mental discomfort.
People that suffer from GAD can explain “They never seem to stop worrying, or they can never seem relaxed, something is always troubling them! They constantly feel they are on the edge. Who else can relate to this? it can be physically and emotionally draining. Mind is always focused on worries but the good news is that anxiety disorder is fixable.
GAD is often accompanied by psychological symptoms such as
Restlessness
Irritability
Difficulty concentrating
A sense of dread
Also few examples on physical symptoms of GAD
Dizziness
Tiredness
Fast heart beat
Excessive sweating
Insomnia
Dry mouth
Muscle aches and tension
Headache
It is generally thought that GAD is underpinned by many women or the misinterpretation of wide range of situation as threatening. If you experienced more energy at times, struggled to focus at work place, at times even felt hopeless that you stopped going out?
You will not need any medication if you learn how to deal with stress by yourself. Options that I can recommend from my research by reading (THANK YOU LIBRARY). Look out for stress awareness training online or ask your GP. Educate and practice mindfulness; enroll yourself in yoga classes, practice breathing techniques also simple relaxation techniques will change your life. When you do have negative thoughts challenge them
Guys worry, fear and anxieties are NORMAL believe me and healthy responses to stress. They are very necessary for survival however they become a problem when they are exaggerated and cycles of distress develop.
Check my post on ‘Anxiety and worry Free’ for detailed information and techniques to help you to get your life on track
Simplicity 